Chances are, you caught the recent gossip buzz: “Kirstie Alley was dumped by Jenny Craig because she didn’t lose enough weight!”

Turns out - at least according to the new publicity spin from Kirstie’s camp and the Jenny Craig VP of marketing, Scott Parker - she chose not to renew her contract after three years as a spokeswoman for the diet program giant.

Yeah, we believe that. The decision had nothing to do with the fact that Valerie Bertinelli ran fiery circles around her in the fat-loss department. Not to mention Kirstie’s own world-class personal obsession with, um, food…?

Queen Latifah is now onboard to take the Jenny Craig helm as joint-spokesperson with Bertinelli (who looks fantastic, by the way).  Hopefully, Queen will lose all the lard she currently carts around as a result.

Kirstie plans to “develop and pilot my own weight-loss brand that I hope to launch in 2009.”

She also expressed in her statement to the media, “I want to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride.”

Shouldn’t she first tackle her own gi-normous thunder thighs and tubby midsection before she starts hawking a diet program to the public?

Then again, we’re talking about Hollywood here.  There’s nothing that some air brushing and a special camera lens can’t fix, huh!